My first sabbatical year was in 2006, before Facebook, Twitter or blogs were really mainstream. Since I know a thing or two about HTML and web design, I created a website where I posted stories and photos for friends back home. The theme of the site was “If you can’t go in person, come with me in spirit… Intothehorizon.com”. I recently decided to do something else with that domain so the site went down earlier this month. In memory of my old travel website, I want to post one of my favorite entries:
“My days in Thailand are numbered, and already I fear the inevitable end of my greatest travel fantasy.
For me, Thailand has been an elaborate rabbit hole, indulging my deepest desires for escape and respite from the complicated work-obsessed life I left nearly eight months ago. Out here, I have no responsibility, no deadlines and no stress. And the only commitment I have to myself is to stay healthy and simply enjoy being.
Times are changing though, and already I’m starting to think about the future. My self-gratifying existence of living in the moment and not caring for future plans is slowly coming to its senses, and reality is creeping into my world like a new dawn. In a week, I’ll be on my way to the Greek islands and I know once I’m in Europe, the fast-paced sensibilities of the Western world will awaken a part of me that has long been sleeping.
Falling out of my sybaritic rabbit hole will not be easy I’m afraid, and I can only hope that the Greek islands will serve as a good staging ground for finding my way back to the world I left behind.
In the meantime, I’m about as chilled out and mellow as could be imagined. Just over a week ago, I returned to Pai in the far north. Leaving the islands (and the beaches) was a unexpected twist of fate brought on by a random encounter with a few cool locals I met almost three weeks ago while traveling here with my friend Nico.
There’s much more soul in the mountains, and the kick-back lifestyles have allowed me some time to slow down the pace and for the first time, submerge myself completely in Thai culture.
Most of my afternoons are spent lazing about, reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy on my friend Joey’s front porch. The setting of his bungalow alone is fodder for an impressionist painting – a small valley of rice fields encircled by a ring of cloud-shrouded mountains. Soft breezes carry incredibly fresh air across the valley and clouds loom heavy overhead, threatening yet another downpour.
By night, the scene in town is wonderfully eclectic and right up my alley. Imagine a Thai gypsy scene accented by distinct rasta vibes and warm hippie sentiments. Travelers show up with instruments from all over the world to jam with local musicians in a funky, mixed-up repertoire of roots reggae, classic rock and traditional Thai tunes. All in all, it’s a much needed change of pace from the blaring techno clubs of the islands, and an ideal place for sorting out my head.
These days, I live in a dreamlike state, shifting between the easy bliss of living without worry and the growing uneasiness of the coming awakening.
I can’t help but ask myself: after this wonderland of exotic experiences, who have I become? And in the face of the world back home, am I capable of re-assimilating into a life similar to the one I left behind?
As I look around me, breathing fresh mountain air and thinking on a wavelength fairly influenced by a new way of seeing the world, I find it hard to answer such questions. Maybe this is a new me, or maybe this is just who I am in Thailand. I suppose I have to leave to better decide whether this is in fact a rabbit hole or just a better place to live.”
September 2, 2006
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Tags: sabbatical, Thailand, travel
Easy to dream, very hard to do
It must be a very common dream to live in another country. Whether it’s Costa Rica, the Bahamas, Spain, Southeast Asia or some island paradise in the South Pacific, many people tend to idealize what life would be like living somewhere else. Escaping the rat race and living the simple life on a tropical beach somewhere is a dream most Americans pine over as they sit in their grey cubicles or dull conference rooms. I know I did.
I wanted out. The thought of spending the rest of my life caught in rush hour traffic every morning and night as I motored to and from the office terrified me, and I saw how easily my life could give way to routine. Just as I spaced out and went into auto-pilot as I headed into the armpit of LA’s freeway network near downtown every morning, I envisioned myself living the good majority of my life just going through the motions. Wake up, eat, drive to work, work, eat, drive home, go to the gym, eat, go to bed… just to wake up and do it all over again.
Like most people, I dreamt of that hammock stretched between two palm trees and the slow paced rhythms of some tropical paradise. I loved the idea of swapping out my corporate wardrobe for bikinis and tank tops, and couldn’t wait to feel the sand beneath my feet.
To be honest, that first year around the world was incredible. The thought that “I could have been at work today” as I sailed in the Caribbean, snorkeled in French Polynesia, skydived in Australia or simply did nothing on countless picture perfect beaches brought me so much joy that I knew life would never get any better. It was the highest I had ever been. My life was extraordinary and everything I ever wanted it to be. But like all good things, it would eventually have to end.
I knew I wasn’t ready to return to the states so when the offer to work in Costa Rica landed in my lap at the end of that first year, it seemed like the likely next step and a good way to avoid the eventual return to the doldrums of everyday life. Costa Rica promised a life that was far sexier than my options in the states. There were rainforests, steamy beaches and a casual culture where high fashion was defined by the latest board short designs by Lost surf wear. It was totally my style and even as I write this now, I can’t believe how hard it was to really live there.
Of course there were great things about living in Costa Rica… things I still miss. But I never could have guessed how challenging and frustrating it would be.
First, forget about all your creature comforts that you had back home. It’s easy to take what we have in the states for granted until you live somewhere else. Things like nicely paved roads, dedicated emergency response, an efficient postal service, consistent public utilities, and secure online banking are first world comforts. If you want to live in the developing world, you’ll have to be able to live without all of the abovementioned luxuries.
Second, don’t ever expect anything to get done on time, or in any efficient manner. Patience is the key when living in the tropics – I think the heat does something to way people operate.
Third, be ready to get rid of all your flashy possessions. If not, someone else will eventually steal them from you. The divide between the haves and the have nots is glaringly evident – you must learn to live with humility or expect to be a target for break ins, robberies, muggings and random acts of injustice. To be safe, you’ll probably also want to live in a gated community with night guard patrols.
Forth, if you have a good-paying job, be ready to fight for it constantly. Tropical beach communities are like microcosms of food chain economics – small pond, lots of sharks. At any given moment, someone is trying to screw someone else out of a commission, pinch a contract or steal a job. And there’s a good chance that whoever is currently screwing you was once your friend or someone you trusted. Trust no one (except maybe your spouse/partner).
And finally, just hope and pray that you don’t get sick or have a life-threatening emergency. It’s almost amusing that real estate agents try to sell these remote beach destinations as good retirement investments. In most cases, there is not a good hospital nearby. If you experience a serious accident or health emergency, chances are slim that you’ll get the treatment you need on time. Don’t expect your real estate agent to warn you about this either.
I write this both as a personal memoir and as an attempt to bring a little reality to the dream. Turns out, it’s really easy to dream about living in another country, but very hard to actually do it.
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Tags: Costa Rica, living in the tropics, simple life, the good life
The initial plan was to take a year off. It was supposed to be a one year sabbatical where I could buy a little time to enjoy life and live my dreams.
As I have said to so many people who have dreamt of doing the exact same thing, the hardest thing about extended travel is deciding to go. After that, everything falls into place. Once you get past the fears of ending your lease and quitting your job, everything else is cake.
I traveled alone for the majority of that first year, with the exception of a month or two when friends met me along the way. It’s definitely not for everyone, and you have to have an independent spirit for sure in order to survive the endless hours alone. Whether waiting for a bus with all your possessions, dining solo, struggling with a new language, or exploring a new place by yourself, you have to be able to endure (and almost enjoy) awkward moments of isolation and loneliness.
It’s difficult to explain all the things that you will learn about yourself when you are alone in a foreign country, struggling to communicate and find your way, but it is a true test of your social survival skills. No one cares who you are, or where you came from. You are on your own.
Luckily, I tend to thrive in uncomfortable situations. I actually enjoy the experience of culture shock and appreciate how it humbles me. I think all Americans should travel more. It opens your eyes, changes perspectives and eliminates fear of the unknown.
As citizens of the world, we are much more alike than we think.
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Tags: culture shock, sabbatical, travel around the world
No one ever warns you about reverse culture shock. In my young 20s, whenever I would speak to someone who had just come back from some extended trip in Europe or Asia, no one ever told me about the mental crash that happens once you get home.
The first few days home are great. You get to see your family and friends, eat in your favorite restaurants and enjoy all the things about American culture that you missed so dearly while you were away. Things like free refills, friendly customer service, Trader Joe’s, organic produce, big breakfasts, coffee to go, cheddar cheese, pre-paid cell phones and of course, speaking good ol’ American English anytime, anywhere are just some of the things that will make you smile and thank the good Lord himself for bringing you home safely.
But then the reality sets in. There is no next great place to check out (besides your same old haunts that you’ve been going to for years), there are no more fellow travelers around who are eager to meet new friends on the street and make impromptu plans for the night, there are no new customs to learn nor any interesting new foods or drinks to try. Life back home, you realize, is incredibly boring.
Depending on how long you’ve been gone, the reverse culture shock varies in intensity. After a single month, you’ll barely notice anything more than a little post-vacation blues. But should you stay out there for 3 months or longer, beware of the inevitable crash into the brick wall of day-to-day life. Your friends will want to hear about your trip for the first few days, and they may even tolerate your stories for a good week or two after you get back. But that’s it. After that, you better get back to reality and talk about life as they know it – the same, linear existence you lived before you left.
So you found enlightenment on a mountain top in Nepal? Right on, better figure out how to incorporate that into finding yourself a job. You jumped from a plane at 14,000 feet over the east coast of Australia? Cool, I hope you got a picture cause that was probably the most expensive 10 minutes of your life. You discovered God in Thailand and converted to Buddhism? Great, hopefully that minimalist philosophy will help you face the fact that you’re totally broke now.
Making the transition from your extraordinary life of travel and adventure to the far less appealing ordinary life of the daily grind is the first challenge of coming home. Reverse culture shock begins with the abrupt realization that the adventure is over, but what comes next is even worse…
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Tags: adventure, around the world, extended travel
This blog was created to document the journey of re-acclimating to life in the United States after nearly 4 years of living abroad and the subsequent challenges of starting over after living my dreams.
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Tags: Costa Rica, extended travel, Great Recession, job search, joblessness, recession, San Diego, travel, unemployment
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